


Vignettes to fill him in.

by Bananas45



Category: B: The Beginning (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Background Relationships, Drug Use, Gilbert is insane, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sorry about chapter 5, Unreliable Narrator, more tags to come
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-12 14:26:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15341781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bananas45/pseuds/Bananas45
Summary: The very interesting thing about Minatsuki was that, unlike most, the most vivid impressions of the man were not his own. He lived his life through the impact he made on others and so talking about him was impossible because he didn’t know much about it.And so, to tell his life story would be impossible to do because he, himself, didn’t know it.





	1. Endowing this horror show with meaning

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really know what this is?  
> I just had to write it?  
> I don't know... it's meant to be little snap shots about Minatsuki through other peoples eyes because I can't see how he can know much about himself...I don't know.  
> it's mightily pretentious as with everything I write. 
> 
> On the subject!  
> I feel as though I haven't written in ages!! but I had to graduate (whooh) and that took more time than I expected.  
> Who'd have guessed. 
> 
> Anyway, Hope you enjoy!

The very interesting thing about Minatsuki was that, unlike most, the most vivid impressions of the man were not his own. He lived his life through the impact he made on others and so talking about him- he himself- was impossible because he didn’t know much about himself.  
Minatsuki knew he was excellent at his job. Minatsuki knew an 22 year old bottle of talisker from a 33 year old bottle of lagavulin. Minatsuki knew that he knew very little else but his job- and frightening ability to not care- kept him treading water on his unstable Id.  
Maybe it was growing up with Gilbert who had set in stone an impressive superego on Minatsuki that was almost impenetrable.  
Maybe it was something else, something ineffable that stopped Minatsuki from falling apart. He knew he wasn’t right. Something was wrong.  
But what who knows. 

And so, to tell his life story would be impossible to do because he, himself, didn’t know it. 

and the others that could? 

Most of them were dead. 

 

Quinn prized himself on his ability to keep his head down. It was what made him such a good informant. When Market Maker had first contacted him he’d been at rock bottom. Absolute zero. The end of the line and so, the opportunity to work with the government- as nefarious as it seemed to be- was absolutely ideal.  
He never actually spoke to anyone high up in Market Maker in the beginning but soon he found he was his middle mans middle man and that- In espionage- is how you know you’re making it big.  
Holding a job was difficult for any reggie and Quinn was no exception. Market Maker found him work, though, and all he had to do was give over information to a man at the end of the week and the rest was his life to live.  
He worked as a security guard in an investment bank. The man would come to his flat every friday and together they’d stroll down the high street in the dying sun. Quinn would him the exact movements of the head of the bank, the codes to the building, the shift times of the other guards and then he would go home.  
Maybe he was naive to think that would be it.  
A week later and the banker was found dead. Quinn didn’t think much of it, not because he thought he was innocent- he knew what Market Maker did- but more because he didn’t really care. The blood lust of a Reggie can be sated second hand and Quinn knew he’d caused that man’s death. That was enough.  
He was still unsure how he found himself inside Cremona’s fanciest 5 star hotel- it would be a 6 star hotel if the system allowed it. In his only shirt, the blazer and trousers he wore to work and a pair of slightly run down trainers, with a blurred white stripe around the weathered black leather. Quinn found himself on the top floor of the King’s Cloud hotel and casino and to his death bed it was a mystery to him why he even bothered to show up.  
The terrace had an incredible view out to sea. It was all glass panels and sleek decor. It was too posh for Quinn. His hair had been hauled back away from his face and snarled up into a ponytail. One strand falling continuously across his eye, distorting the low light of the restaurant with its gold trims and reflective glass.  
That’s where they met.  
The leader of Market Marker was internationally infamous and depending on who you spoke to they all said different things.  
Quinn had heard he’d cut off an assemblyman's finger with a butter knife at a conference in the south of Cremona when he’d considered cutting Market Makers budget. Quinn had heard he’d bitten of the ear of a reporter who had gotten too close. Quinn had heard he talked a man into shooting himself in the head after only 2 hours in a room with him. Quinn had heard a lot.  
None of it prepared him.  
He was stunning. Maybe words failed to describe it but no one could embody a dichotomy quite like Minatsuki could. He looked lonely at the table, hand balancing his chin in a contemplative sadness, yet to everyone else he seemed to look perfectly relaxed, completely at ease. When they introduced themself Quinn asked  
“Have you been waiting long?”  
To which Minatsuki had replied with a soft lilt of  
“No, no, not long at all”  
And had been so genuine, yet Quinn couldn’t help but feel that he’d kept the man waiting too long.  
When they sat down Minatsuki seemed so focused on Quinn, yet his eyes were so far away.  
When they ordered Minatsuki paused to look at the menu even if he seemed to know what he wanted already.  
Quinn felt as though he’d known him forever but he knew nothing about him.  
There was a perfect stillness about him. A ballet dancers body held in by a perfectly tailored suit that was actually more casual than Quinn’s. He was only in a shirt, that type that almost shone in the light it was so expensive, rolled to the elbow and open just enough that Quinn could see the deep line of his chest. Well trained, perfect manners- everything that screamed special operations. His legs were crossed, casual and relaxed as his foot kicked to a beat that wasn’t the music in the restaurant. His hair reflected the light and shone gold. The candle between them played tricks across the smooth skin of the Minatsuki’s face and Quinn realised he could only have been nineteen or so. Nineteen and running the countries secret service. It either said a lot about him or a lot about the country.  
“This place is lovely” Quinn tried and Minatsuki’s warm smile was on him in seconds. He was the type of man who when he spoke to you, made it seem as though you were their closest friend. He was the type of person whose company you craved, even if it was poisonous but when Quinn tried to pinpoint exactly what he found in Minatsuki’s personality just so enthralling, he couldn’t think.  
“Yes, it is” He answered. “And that wine you ordered is my favourite” He pointed with a slender index finger. It was such an empty compliment yet it made Quinn’s heart flutter in a very odd way.  
He wanted to ask why, if it was Minatsuki’s favourite, did he not order it himself. But he didn’t. Instead he tittered out a laugh and clasped his hands between his thighs as Minatsuki regarded him with gentle, piercing blue eyes. There had been a pause in conversation as Minatsuki’s smile gentle un-crinkled his eyes as he stared out at the cityscape before ducking his head round like he’d remembered something he’d never forgotten to begin with.  
“I’m actually here to proposition you” He flashed a smile, shark like yet delicate. Innocent yet loaded.  
“Oh yeah?” Quinn answered and instantly regretted the tone in his voice. It suddenly seemed crude next to Minatsuki.  
“Yes” He pulled out a leather bound contract from a bag just leant against his calf. “Do you-” Minatsuki seemed to pause and reconsider “Would you be interested in a promotion of sorts?”  
Quinn had sort of been expecting this. After the success of that assassination he thought they might take more notice. He just didn’t expect them to take this much notice.  
He’d heard, rumours only, that Minatsuki had the blood of a god and Quinn thought, foolishly, it would be rude to refuse a god anything. So, with barely a breath between thoughts, he agreed.  
Minatsuki was staring at him like he knew the answer already, pen already being unclicked.  
It was a secrecy act. A government secrecy act. That was a red flag. It should have been then and there that Quinn refused. Though refusing this far in would probably have ended in nothing but tragedy. The pen had felt as heavy as a loaded gun in his hand.  
“You understand what you’re getting yourself into?” Minatsuki looked with young, earnest eyes- a faux act of trust- into Quinn’s matching colour. His eyebrows knitted together gently, in the softest form of concern that made Quinn feel less like he needed to prove himself and more like the man ( boy, really) in front of him needed reassurance. In hindsight, Minatsuki had only been what Quinn needed him to be.  
“Off course” He’d said. A sort of pledge that seemed to wedge between them deeper than the signature on the page. He didn’t know what he was getting himself into but something had pulled him into Minatsuki’s web and he’d felt it so necessary to impress the man that- in the end- it cost him his life.  
Minatsuki smiled- though in the light, all of a sudden it was more of a grin.  
“Perfect!” He stood, drink only half drunk in the most expensive bar in the city. It spoke volumes to his character if Quinn hadn’t been looking.  
They stood just out of time with each other, Quinn scrambling while Minatsuki moved like water.  
“I really” Minatsuki had clasped his hand, it bordered on excitable, even if everything Minatsuki did was demure. His hand had been cold, ice cold, yet somehow he’d managed to convince Quinn it was warm. “I really am so glad you agreed to join us”  
Quinn wasn’t sure if it was genuine or not. The more he worked with Minatsuki the more he came to realise no one knew if he was genuine or not. No one knew anything. He liked to think he knew something about Minatsuki, liked to think maybe they were closer than most but Minatsuki made everyone feel as though they were closer than most, his favourite or his confidant. He doubted any of them were.  
Maybe Kamui had said it best. Kamui who was completely immune to Minatsuki’s charm. He’d held Quinn close, pinned against a wall in a quiet hanger bay as they waited for a shipment of arms from America  
“Don’t trust him. Don’t be so fucking stupid as to fucking trust him” Kamui had spat. “Do you really think for a second that he has the capacity to care about any of us?” 

Quinn thinks that even right up to the end, he hoped he did.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To listen to a conversation between the two of them would be hard because neither really emoted. Yuna, closed off and Minatsuki, perfectly fake. Neither knew the other but they prided themselves on the knowledge that no one knew them either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit weird...but I noticed how close those two were and I figured there must be a reason for it.

Yuna lived life as one slept through a dream. She didn’t question and she didn’t complain. Her day to day was hazy and meticulous and she hid her contempt for everyone behind a sweet mask of innocence. Her face, unparalleled in it’s beauty and doll like in it’s expression.   
Maybe that’s what drew her to Minatsuki. He had the same look. A blank smile- pretty enough to fool anyone but look hard enough and there was nothing behind it. A heartwarming demeanour but know him long enough and you’d realise he didn’t have one himself. They had to be careful, the China exterior of dolls like them could be broken so easily and once it was, that illusion was ruined. Minatsuki tightrope walked across the uncanny valley and seemed, for the most part, to keep his balance. 

Yuna struggled and sometimes she fell. 

She’d been on a mission with Kamui, just the two of them, travelling through crowded hot streets. Kamui had a grip on her arm, hard enough to leave bruises. His hand had fitted all the way around her slender bicep as she’d been hurried through the crowd. In her backpack she carried about half of Cremona’s annual GDP in cash and because of that, speed was of the essence. To any onlooker they’d seem like a couple or a father and daughter at a creepy push. Her light summer dress that showed the pale skin of her back, was patterned with huge white roses and her sun hat covered the sadness in her eyes that would age her past the thirteen she could pass for.   
But there was a problem.   
She had a horrible headache. It tapped at her skull until she was panting and gasping, like someone was taking a pickaxe to the frozen pond of her mind.   
Little by little water started to escape.   
“Hurry up doll” Kamui was saying. “Oi, I said hurry”  
But she couldn’t move. She was standing so still it almost looked as if someone had petrified her. Her eyes were watering even if she didn’t know why. Her mind was screaming at her but it was speaking a different language.   
“Yuna. Anyone home?” Kamui waved a hand in front of her face and just like that, with the wave of a hand, the tick of a clock, she broke his wrist and ran.   
She could hear him screaming as her sandals smacked against the cobbles as she followed some unknown memory down winding alleyways and sidestreets.   
She hadn’t known why but she had to get away.   
‘Run’   
The breeze had pulled the summer hat off her head, letting strands of bubblegum pink hair flood and bounce across her face as she ran, sticking to her lips and cheeks from tears and sweat.   
She remembered. She remembered a school room bathed in the harsh light of winter, she remembered feeling so frightened.   
but why?   
Her nostrils filling with smoke and her skin heating up. How could it have been so hot in winter?   
The flash of gunfire and she was skidding down another street, trying to shake the memories from her forefront, trying to concentrate on anything, anything except the buzzing freedom of having something this suppressed unlocked. It was terrifying. She was fast becoming exhausted, dragged down by her emotions. She turned to check behind her with a terrified gasp and when she turned back-   
A hand on her wrist, strong and secure.   
“Laica-” It was a scream, so unusual from her, usually so quiet and reserved but Laica barely twitched. As though he’d seen it all before. “Where-”  
The realisation struck her as she twisted. He had seen it all before.   
“You- You” She didn’t quite know what to say. “Oh god, Minatsuki” the name tripped of her tongue.   
She was sobbing now, wretched from her throat as she blinked and pulled frantically at his iron grip. He didn’t even speak, he didn’t even look upset.   
“Please! Please don’t- just let me go, please! I won’t tell a soul- please!” Her words were garbled and shaking. “Minatsuki please!”   
His brows knitted together briefly- as though the tears and the begging were slightly unusual. Maybe she didn’t normally cry.   
Or maybe she wasn’t the only one. Maybe it was just that the others didn’t beg nor cry.   
Would it hurt? Had it hurt all those other times?   
The world seemed to slow as she contemplated it, trapped in the buzz of her own adrenaline filled mind, as she fought against an ever creeping blackness. 

She woke to voices but kept her eyes closed. The bed under her was soft and not at all like her own aboard the Moby Dick. The pain was gone but the day was a blur and an itch remained, tick-tacking away at the backs of her eyes.   
“And she’s okay?”   
“I didn’t see what happened”   
“Why were you in the area?”   
The voice is still honey soft even if there is irritation there. It’s Minatsuki and if it’s Minatsuki then he’s probably talking to Laica.   
“Regulus”   
The word seems to take a little breath out of Minatsuki and she listens with deadly intrigue (to words she otherwise would have no knowledge of) to the conversation unfold.   
“Ah, so above my clearance then”   
It’s slightly snarky as though the edge of irritation has boiled over into genuine annoyance.   
“He’d tell you if you asked”   
“I’m sure”   
“Minatsuki-”   
“I want to talk to Yuna” He says, gentle again. “Considering she’s woken up” It’s teasing and gentle and she feels the way he inclines his head towards her but it’s also a warning to Laica, a very telling ‘Shut your mouth’   
“Off course” Laica says. “I hope you’re feeling better, Yuna”   
She lets her eyes drift open at that and she focuses on Laica before she tries to take in the rest of the room.   
“Thank you” she says softly.   
He smiles, tight and brief before he leaves. Alone with Minatsuki she relaxes just a little.   
“What are they saying happened?”   
“Heat stroke” Minatsuki says, watching her through the window pane.   
“Heat stroke” She echoes.   
To listen to a conversation between the two of them would be hard because neither really emoted. Yuna closed off and Minatsuki perfectly fake. Neither knew the other but they prided themselves on the knowledge that no one knew them either.   
“Laica can be...” Minatsuki trails off, realising he’s brought it out of nowhere.   
“Please, you can go” She says, desperate not to talk about it- whatever ‘it’ is, but clearly there is an ‘it.’   
“Actually this is my room” Minatsuki breathes out a bashful laugh. “So I can’t”   
“Then I’ll go” She stands, voice level even if she feels like crying. She’s in a shirt, one of his presumably. It’s oddly comforting but it doesn’t help.   
She so confused, so hurt and empty and trying to piece together an 1000 piece jigsaw when people keep stealing the parts.   
“Yuna wait”  
She does.   
Not because she feels she has to or because she wants to obey him but because his voice, his tone, is so uncannily like how she feels right now.   
She turns and he’s facing away. Staring at a painting with a glazed look in his eyes.   
“I don’t remember anything about today” She snaps, suddenly ablaze with hatred for him. “I don’t know what is happening- I barely remember anything nowadays. I don’t know what you do to us but I’m not an idiot, Minatsuki” She’s livid now, trembling and open with a side of herself she didn’t know existed. “I know somethings wrong”   
His eyes are closed, lip bitten and hands in the pocket of his slacks.   
“I wish I could tell you-”   
“Don’t lie to me!” She screams, sobbing again- though when was she sobbing before?   
She clenches her fists.   
“I don’t fucking know either!” He shouts. It’s abrasive in the night air, sharp and acrid and Yuna flinches. She’s never heard him raise his voice. He’s calm again in seconds but there is a sudden, owl like wariness to him.  
“Some days I remember a lot...other days I don’t remember anything at all. Somedays it pisses me off and other days...I don’t remember to be angry” He looks at her. “Does that ring a bell?” His smile is wry and for some reason it makes her giggle, just a little.   
“Yeah...” she’s almost in hysterics now.   
“Hm?” He notices and comes over, beaming at her. “Wow, if i’d known it was so easy to make you laugh I’d have done it ages ago”   
She shoos him off a little, covering her mouth with the back of her hand as he comes closer. She wants to ask the others if they are the same, if they’re missing pieces too, maybe it’s not just her and Minatsuki but he’s come close now, standing right in front of her.   
“I want you to know” He takes her hand in his, fond and brotherly for a moment and then suddenly his mouth is at her ear, lips pressed into her hair and voice frantically soft. “He’s at the door, he’ll have heard everything we said. If I forget this, I’m sorry, but know” He holds her head in his palms and she’s too stunned, too scared to do anything. “We can trust each other” he pulls away like it never happened and looks quizzical. before he continues “Wanted you to know something...But for the life of me I can’t remember what!”   
He laughs but his eyes are serious and he closes them for a moment.   
“I get the message” He says, voice slightly admonishing. “You want me to go”   
He goes to the door and turns to say something as he opens it but doesn’t, instead he lets his eyes double take the figure there with an impeccable realness.   
“Jesus- fuck Laica” He puts a hand over his heart and Laica smiles a little as Minatsuki recovers. “You scared me”   
“Evidently” Laica says but it’s suspicious, like he can’t quite believe it.  
“What are you doing here?” Minatsuki is still smiling but suddenly there is something razor sharp about his voice, dangerous and authoritorial. Yuna watches as Laica’s hackles go up but no amount of training can prepare you for when Minatsuki turns on you- His voice still sickly sweet even as he puts you on the spot.   
“Just pills” He opens his palm and Minatsuki lets the tension linger between them, Yuna can feel it ripple through the air.   
“For what?” Minatsuki’s voice is lower, prying and amused but demanding an answer.   
Laica seems to take a moment, blinking once at Minatsuki, mouth slightly open as if he were trying to shuffle through his emotions to find the correct response. Another moment passes, Minatsuki holding the tension in the like he’s pulling cheese wire.   
“Oh Laica” He says. “I’m kidding!”   
Laica takes a breath and forces a smile.   
“My god you’re so serious” Minatsuki says. “Isn’t he so serious?” He asks Yuna, who obligingly nods. There is another pause as Minatsuki’s smile drops. “I should go now though. Get well soon Yuna” He waves a hand at her. “Although, I’ll be back to reprocure my bed” He points a finger at Yuna.   
Laica gives him a look as he leaves, Yuna can’t see what it is but it makes Minatsuki stop. his eyebrow quirks just a centimeter in response before he pulls the door shut behind him. 

They were inseparable after that. Even if neither remembered why.


	3. In the blue of your blue eyes pt. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, because these were meant to be Vignettes (and I am true to my titles) I decided to split this chapter in half because it was just getting so, so, so long as Kamui just took over my whole narrative (Because off course he did) 
> 
> Yeah, my inner Kamui talks like a weird 1920's gangster, I don't know why but it's happened. 
> 
> The name of this chapter comes from a song called called Volare sung by Domenico Modugno which for some reason totally inspired this fic...might have influenced the whole Italian gangster vibe though.

“Hate him?” He breathes the word out like it’s offended him. “No, I don’t hate him”   
Quinn laughs politely and smiles a sheepish smile and blabbers on with diplomatic desperation as he gently dabs the bone deep knife wound through Kamui’s hand, courteous of the prissy blonde this idiot seemed to hold in such high regard.   
“That’s good-” He shakes a strand of his yarn thick hair out his eyes. "because-"  
“I despise him” Kamui leans forward and his voice is as quiet as mouse and sharp as a knife “In Fact, Quinn” He bores holes in the others head with the intensity of his glare. “I don’t think there is a word, in any language, that accurately describes the depth of my dislike for that man” 

So, Kamui didn’t like Minatsuki and hey, that was fine. A man like Kamui, with 25 arrests (5 for arsen, 3 for homicide, a hefty 6 assaults, 7 accounts of drug possessions- the second while he was in for the first- Burglary, theft and an almost uncountable amount of drunken disorderly fines, and, not even 30 years old! not that he’s bragging) Made enemies. He had people he didn’t get on with but he’d never had someone he hated quite like Minatsuki.   
Minatsuki was 16 when he became leader- six- fucking- teen and hardened, actual men were meant to respect him?  
Kamui called bullshit.  
At the time Kamui was working small fry for Market Maker, nothing big but he’d gotten assignments handed out while Minatsuki was there once or twice and it didn’t take long to work out who he was. He was quite hard to miss.  
“He’s a god or something”   
A few of them are talking after a meeting, held in a huge warehouse by the docks and filled with every reggie from the east end to the west. Minatsuki had made some eloquent speech about something. Kamui hadn’t really heard it through the seething resentment whispering in his ears.   
“Blondey?” Another asks, sniffing against his nose ring and coughing into a palm. His knuckles tattooed and his eyes wild.   
The first man nods “Yeah. It’s why he’s so strong”   
Kamui grunts and shoves his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “Has anyone actually seen him fight?”   
“Bet he’s some hotshots son or something”   
“Shouldn’t talk about him. He’ll find out-”   
“What are you fucking scared?”   
“It’s the other one- With the glasses. Gives me the creeps-”   
Kamui zones out their talk until it hits him. The best idea he’s ever had in his entire life (and that’s saying something, cos Kamui had had a fair few good ideas in his time)   
“Let’s just fucking kill him”   
The men stop. One stares for so long that his cigarette falls out his mouth.   
“Are you joking?”   
“Did I escape maximum security prison- eh- Three times” Kamui holds up the fingers “To joke with you losers?”   
They shake their heads.   
“Besides” Kamui shrugs and pulls out his pocket knife, digging out some dirt from his nails. “I think I’d make a better leader”   
There is a stunned silence. He flicks the knife out, eyebrows raised.   
“Well?”   
They snap out of it.   
“Yeah! Yeah you so would!” 

So, this fat little dude who used to work for the government until his reggie side got the better of him and he tried to eat his colleagues arm or something, tells Kamui that the power is in the eye and that, for Kamui to truly become the leader, he’d need that eye and so, plan ‘get that eye’ is born.   
“Yeah” Kamui explains to the group of gaping reggies. “They pass the eye down like a fucking family heirloom or something-”   
“I heard that Minatsuki stole it from a kid back-”   
Kamui grits his teeth “That boy couldn’t steal his own ass if it slapped him in the face” 

They sit through a meeting with baited breath until Kamui manages to sneak into a back room. There is an old record scratching away in the corner, a classic record of some sort that Kamui has no time for as it whines away hazy strings on bad speakers. The boy is biting his nail as he looks over some report. He looks up in shock.  
“Oh hey, yeah, can we talk?” He pauses. “Boss”   
Minatsuki glances at the hand on his arm, at Kamui, at the seven men beginning surrounding him, at the door and then laughs a short little laugh. Kamui watches him lean forward. His perfect smile, his shiny hair and slender body. He is quite pretty, Kamui will give him that.   
“Look, whoever you are-” That hurts, Kamui killed a bus full of pensioners for Minatsuki last week and the fucker can’t even remember his face. “You’re going to let go of my arm and I won’t break every bone in your hand, your arm, let you go home limping and crying, then make sure you disappear quietly.” His tone is still relatively friendly.   
Kamui considers, sucks in the skin of his chin and makes a high pitched hiss between his teeth.   
“Yeah me and my friends here are gonna have to politely decline.” He leans forward. “I like your arm”   
Minatsuki’s eyebrow raises.   
“Oh really?” He says, those blue eyes wide with genuine shock, lip turned up into an unattractive sneer.   
“Yeah” Kamui drawls. “Wow you’re mad.” He laughs. “Never felt the caress of a man before? Ehck, doesn’t surprise me. When did you finish breastfeeding? Last week-”   
“Fuck off” Minatsuki snaps, jaw working and eyes bitter. The others jeer and wolf whistle.   
“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” Kamui smirks.   
Minatsuki looks around, a little more aware of the situation he’s in and Kamui watches his jaw work under the pale skin. Minatsuki seems to notice the distraction and he hauls Kamui forward with the arm Kamui forgets to let go off as he slams a foot into Kamui’s kneecap.   
The others react, pinning Minatsuki’s arms in a lock and holding him in place (Kamui helpfully misses out the details about Minatsuki dislocating his shoulder, snapping one of his ribs, breaking another guys nose, killing one of them, headbutting someone so hard he swallowed his tongue because in the long run, the point still stands, they pinned the leader of Market Maker in under twenty minutes)   
Minatsuki twists and writhes almost in time with the music that’s still crackling and just as one guy launches Minatsuki’s swipes the letter opener of the desk and kicks it over on its side as Man No. 3 opens fire on him.   
“You fucking idiot!” Kamui screams. “We need him alive-”   
The knife lands square in the guy’s forehead and Kamui has to commend the boys skill and finesse. It’s a solid 10. He appears seconds later and vaults for the door. He doesn’t make it before Kamui wrestles him to the floor.   
Minatsuki lets out a yelp of surprise and twists wildly before launching an elbow into Kamui’s already bloody nose over and over and over until Kamui has to let go. Three more guys grab Minatsuki in an ungraceful pile on that Kamui has to admit does do disservice to Minatsuki’s beautiful skill. They have him though and once pinned Kamui gives him one solid uppercut.   
“You’ll pay for this” Minatsuki snarls, white teeth bloodied and clenched, long legs kicking.   
“Yeah, I don’t think so” Kamui spits and watches with delight as it lands on Minatsuki’s cheek. “I’ve been chewed out before.” He pats Minatsuki’s cheek. “I can handle it”   
Minatsuki laughs, head thrown back, he smiles a sympathetic smile “You’re a fucking idiot”   
“Watch your tongue, kid”   
He presses his finger forward, curling it into Minatsuki eye socket and gets a rewarding scream from the boy. He looks horrified but worryingly confused.  
“What-”   
“Don’t play dumb” Kamui snaps.   
Minatsuki smile splits his face “I think that’s your forte-”  
The others are beginning to look confused though and the music seems to mock them in the background.  
“Your magic eye” Kamui says without an ounce of self-awareness, tone accusing, eyes shiny with a glee of assurance. Minatsuki’s jaw drops. “Yeah gotcha now”  
“Sorry-” He has to stop, his lip bitten and eyes closed as he goes over the words “My what?”  
Kamui’s brow knits and top lip touches the tip of his nose. Fuck.   
“This boys eye is very clearly normal” Kamui says, dangerously calm to the man who had started the whole rumour. The atmosphere shifts and Kamui realises it’s not him they’re scared off.   
“Let him go”   
The tone is tired, like a substitute teacher telling a student to be quiet when they’ve already given up on the class. The record has run out and the silence stretches out between them, intermittent with the scratch of the needle.   
“Laica-” It’s Minatsuki, sounding excited.   
The man holds up a gun and shoots the guy beside Minatsuki- so close the two were touching cheeks- with a shot so true it doesn’t get a speck of blood on Minatsuki. The blonde barely flinches even when it slices a strand of his hair. Kamui watches it float to the ground.   
The man on Minatsuki’s right backs away with a babbled apology before taking three shots to the chest. Minatsuki turns on Kamui, unabashed hatred in those ice blue eyes and Kamui makes a quick prayer to Mary, mother of god in a last ditch attempt at a spot in heaven.  
“You-”   
“Minatsuki” Laica, or so Kamui believes- though who fucking knows with these people, probably not even his fucking name- Snaps and the man in question backs off.   
“Regulus wants to see you” Laica tells him.   
“Me?” Minatsuki asks, head cocked and slender fingers spread across his chest.   
“No him” Laica cocks the gun. Kamui blinks.   
“Me?”  
“Him?” Minatsuki’s impeccable calm seems to splinter. “You have to be joking. Laica, he’s incompetent-”   
“Save it for Regulus” Laica rubs his temples. “He thinks otherwise” The two lock eyes “and considering he did almost kill you, I’m inclined to agree”   
Minatsuki flushes and Kamui’s confusion fades to delight as he glances between the two of them.   
“Oh, buddy, you’re fucked” 

And that was how Kamui was entered into Market Maker, with a wax sealed letter of acceptance from Regulus that he slapped into Minatsuki’s chest and the good word of Laica. 

But if you thought that little incident made him hate Minatsuki, you’d be wrong. 

It took a more and yet, somehow, a lot less to make Kamui hate Minatsuki to the same level the latter hated the first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That song is also the song I wrote that whole fight scene too. It just massively inspired this whole thing.


	4. In the blue of your blue eyes pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a bit of mess. I just had the idea of it and was like 'I'm writing that somehow' 
> 
> There is such copious amounts of drugs and alcohol in this chapter that it's insane. 
> 
> There is also a scene that plays out uncannily like a scene from inglorious bastards but I didn't realise till afterwards and then didn't want to change it...It's probably sub-conscience plagarism.

It was a matter of pride. Pride and dignity, which to a Reggie meant a whole lot given you had so little to begin with and Minatsuki ruined his dignity in one swoop and over what? One, one!, assassination attempt. Petty much? 

Yes 

The problem with Minatsuki was that he was everything that he looked like he was. Pretty, charming, easy company and funny, fake, spiteful, with all the playful subtlety of the teenage bitch he really was. See, because Kamui was a real man all that shit went right over his head and he’d been pulled into Minatsuki’s trap before he’d realised what hit him. 

 

Anyway, that was besides the point. The problem was that for 48 hours- only 48 hours- Kamui fell utterly, head over heels, in love with him. 

This was one of those actual important missions. One of those handful of missions that got them briefed by Regulus and had Minatsuki take an awkward back seat.   
Kamui always had to admit that Regulus was borderline cruel to their apparent leader and, maybe, that rubbed him the wrong way.   
The plan was simple but it took the meticulous touch of Laica’s planning, the delicate caress of Minatsuki’s charm and the insurance of Kamui’s backhand to pull off.   
These codes (Parts of the Nuclear codes, Gilbert slips in) fell into the wrong hands and so, they’d go in undercover as a group of international arms dealers, ready to have a good time and at some point during the night, by any means necessary, those codes would come up in conversation.   
“Like a honey trap” Laica says with that tight tone of disappointment he seems to apply to everything to do with Minatsuki.   
“Shouldn’t be hard” Kamui teases. “Given how much of slut you are, Minatsuki”   
Minatsuki just shakes his head and Kamui waits with bated breath for the response. He does love a good back and forth with Minatsuki.  
“Well, it’s the truth” Regulus says with a smile over whatever Minatsuki was about to say and the atmosphere goes tight with tension. “Is there anyone in this room you haven’t slept with Minatsuki?”  
There is a second of stunned silence.   
“Hey-” Laica begins but cuts himself off with a bite of his tongue.   
Minatuski’s smile is forcefully wry and he glances once into Regulus’ eyes before looking away.   
“Well?”   
Kamui steps in. Not for Minatsuki but more because he doesn’t like an unfair fight and Laica’s got that pussy-whipped look in his eye he always gets around Regulus so he won’t do it.   
“Y’alright, fuck off. The boss is a big boy he can stick it where he pleases”   
It’s the look that Minatsuki gives him, unguarded in it’s relief and surprise and appreciation. It’s a little to do with how much Laica bristles. It’s how thankful Minatsuki’s smile becomes.   
It’s a whirlwind of things.   
But it makes Kamui see exactly what all those other idiots see in that blonde and suddenly, he’s very taken. 

 

The plan is going horribly courtesy of Minatsuki’s childish need to get back at Regulus for that comment. Kamui is inclined to agree. Fuck them is almost is catch phrase and he thinks maybe this is a long time coming.   
Not to mention watching the nervous breakdown take place behind Laica’s glasses is almost better than going to the theatre.   
Minatsuki is sat in the Paradise Palms beachside clubhouses private suite, surrounded by adoring men more than twice his age and clearly so far gone that on his current trajectory he could end up with a liver transplant by midnight.   
They’re holding glasses of wine to his nose, practically drooling over him. Kamui can relate.   
“Um...Um” Minatsuki snaps his fingers. “Wait, give me it again-”   
“NO you said once!” The man, a foreign general with a scar across his eye and a cigar in his mouth and an unsubtle hand on Minatsuki’s thigh, says.   
Minatsuki pouts and they all wait with breath held. Kamui takes this moment to look over him. He seems to have lost a shoe over dinner, a tie over cheese boards and somewhere between campari and champagne his suit jacket also.   
He’s a hot mess.   
“2 years old” His eyes are shut. The men jeer. Minatsuki smiles. “I want to say Italy but I’m going to say France” The men begin to shout with delight. “2 years old, french...Well it’s red, I’m not an idiot” Minatsuki sucks in a breath. “If it’s French, Red, two years- this place is cheap so I doubt this is anything special-” The men howl. “Then it’s a Merlot”   
Kamui has heard quieter reactions to goals being scored.   
They practically pounce on the opportunity to touch Minatsuki in anyway possible and Minatsuki lets it happen, basks in it like a cat getting it’s chin tickled. His eyes snap open and he notices them.   
“Kamui! Laica!”   
It’s punctuated with the scrape of chairs.  
The men look round, clearly embarrassed as Minatsuki lies across their laps with one man balanced over him. He sits up and spills the glass he guessed over a well dressed drug dealer who just gapes like a fish when Minatsuki tries to wipe it off him.   
“I’m so sorry” He says before his eyes are on them. “Kamui! Come join me”   
Minatsuki’s foot hits the last empty chair at the table and Kamui watches the men try to look professional again. He can imagine it’s hard when Minatsuki refuses to remove himself from your lap.   
“Oh no” Minatsuki says, voice laced with fake pity. “There isn’t a seat left”   
Laica holds Minatsuki’s gaze.   
The men scramble to accommodate.   
You could cut the tension with a knife. Laica sits slowly and watches Minatsuki carefully. It’s painfully obvious how angry Minatsuki is and Kamui knows better than most the extend and ferocity of Minatsuk’s anger. Just how utterly destructive it could be.   
If there was a plan, Minatsuki fucked it. If there was an objective, Minatsuki threw it out the window but fuck there was just something so satisfying about how actively Minatsuki was ignoring Laica, maybe it was because they were so usually codependent. It was freeing to watch Minatsuki like this.   
Minatsuki was playing blind man’s buff with an ace on his forehead and the boy fucking knew it.   
Laica stays for three rounds of drinks with tense shoulders and a grip on his glass so strong it could shatter.   
Minatsuki is robbing these poor men blind while they pay for his drinks and play his games. Kamui watches, practically drooling, over Minatsuki incredible manners. He was wild yet conservative, brash yet polite, sexual yet innocent, engaging these men in civil discussion and drinking them under the table with the same winsome look in his eye.   
“I’m going” Laica growls and puts his glass down hard enough that Minatsuki’s eyes flicker to him for a second before he’s laughing at something whispered into his ear.   
Kamui looks up and Laica looks down. His face is tense, like everything about him but there is an undercurrent of something there. Kamui looks closer and realizes that, holy shit, it’s jealousy. He almost laughs but he stops himself. The look twitches on Laica’s face until some grotesquely unhealthy version of guilt.   
“Make sure he doesn’t die” Laica says.   
“Gotcha” Kamui flashes him a smile but doesn’t get it returned.   
“Please, Kamui” Laica insits. “Just...make sure he’s safe”   
Laica’s lack of faith is saddening to say the least. 

But maybe well placed.

Within twenty minutes of him leaving Kamui has Minatsuki on shots of absinth and the men are cheering and shaking him with delight as the watch Minatsuki take his fifth in a row.   
“Jesus, okay” Kamui catches him as he falls forward. “You actually should slow down” He can’t help but wheeze with laughter himself though.   
“Nonono” Minatsuki scrambles at his arms and looks up at him with wide, delighted eyes. “Kamui, please” He whines. It’s fucking magical and hey, who’s Kamui to tell him to stop.   
With a chaser of white wine Minatsuki orders a round of Vermouth for the whole table. He snaps a waiter over and barely manages to get the words out.   
Minatsuki makes some garbled comment about how bad mixing all this alcohol is but gives up half way through when he sees an elderly human trafficker do a card trick.   
Kamui takes his chance, something has changed in him, something special as he begins to realise that Minatsuki, once removed from all that toxic shit around him, isn’t actually that bad. Hell, he’s a whole lot of fun actually. Kamui lets himself acknowledge, just for a moment, how beautiful the man really is. Every little quirk, the way he snaps his fingers with his pinkie and ring finger- which used to annoy the hell out of Kamui- now seems endearing. The way he has to constantly brush his hair behind his ear to take a sip of is drink is now attractive. The lilting, slightly patronising tone of his voice now feels like a barrier that’s to be lowered only once you’ve earned the right to know the real Minatsuki.   
So he pulls Minatsuki over to him and watches with glee as Minatsuki just falls onto him with a laugh.   
“Hello” He says and Kamui smiles.   
“Do I know you?” He answers.   
“Highly doubt it” Minatsuki teases, tongue on his top lip as he looks at the ceiling with a that whimsically look you can only achieve by being wildly drunk.   
“A pity. So are you here with someone?” Kamui asks and loops an arm around Minatsuki.   
“I was. Fellow did me wrong and ran away with my heart” Minatsuki’s brow knits softly and his smile drops. “I don’t know why I’m talking to you about it though”   
“You can...If you want-”   
“You hate me” Minatsuki snorts and sits up, hanging his head forward a little as the weight of what he’s drunk hits him full force.   
“No, you hate me-” Kamui tries.   
“You tried to kill me” Minatsuki snaps.   
“eck, details” Kamui waves a hand and Minatsuki giggles, back of his hand covering his mouth as he hides the fondness in his smile.   
“So Laica, talk to me” Kamui prompts.   
Minatsuki closes his eyes.   
“He’s…”   
“A little bitch baby who treats you like shit?” Kamui supplies.   
“What?” Minatsuki grins. “No...no”   
“Cos from where I’m standing, you’re all beautiful and wonderful and he seems to hate you for it” Kamui shrugs. “I don’t get why he doesn’t act”  
Minatsuki blinks, the shock plain on his face and the slightest hint of a blush on his cheeks before he shakes his head.   
“It’s complicated” He says softly.   
“Yeah people always say that and I don’t know why” Kamui huffs. “It’s simpler than you think most of the time”   
Minatsuki’s nose twitches a little and Kamui notices how shiny Minatsuki’s eyes are all of a sudden.   
“Laica-”   
“Has this weird creepy power over you. Yeah, I get it” Kamui leans forward. He’s so in. Minatsuki looks all doe eyed and subdued and Kamui realises now why everyone calls him easy. Because he’s so god damn easy.   
“I’m too sober for this” Minatsuki mutters, which is a terrifying sentence given how much he’s drunk, which is probably enough to kill most grown adults.   
So with a guiding hand Kamui launches Minatsuki under the sea of men desperate to buy for him again. It’s another bottle of wine, three glasses of g&ts and a half bottle of bourbon- a drink that he’d actually heard Minatsuki say he hated a few weeks ago (because Minatsuki is a snob)- later that Minatsuki resurfaces, gasping for breath.   
“No...wait-” He says as they hold his forearm down.   
“It’s a really fun game” A weasley little man is saying “And the honours go to the prettiest boy in the room” He winks at Minatsuki as he cuts cocaine on the glass coffee table.   
“Flattery-” Minatsuki begins as he laughs.   
“Gets you everywhere with this guy” Kamui undoes the button of his jacket and sits down in amongst them. “Count me in gentleman”   
Minatsuki just shakes his head.   
“Now careful because I’m about to blow your fucking mind” The guy says as he arranges three lines on Minatsuki’s pale forearm. “We all take turns, beautiful here first, then us, then you close this game- if you’re still alive-” he pats Minatsuki’s cheek. “But any spills, we go again, from the start”   
Minatsuki nods. Kamui wants to warn them that they’ve picked the wrong guy for this. Minatsuki has this odd little tremble in his fingers Kamui has always noticed, as though there is a wire loose somewhere or something.   
“I have really shaky hands-” Minatsuki breathes out a laugh as the man gives him a rolled up 50 and smiles.   
“Don’t we all” he says.   
Minatsuki hauls is hair back with one hand into a pathetic drunken attempted at a ponytail before leaning down, showing off the slender lines of his neck and sharp muscles of his back to the adoring audience as he pulls his head along his arm from the crook of his elbow to his wrist before coming up.   
“Holy fuck” Minatsuki gasps, head thrown back as he sneezes. They all cheer though, keeping Minatsuki up as he blinks tears from his eyes.   
“Again, again!” One says and Minatsuki’s so blissed out that they push his head down easily.   
It’s hot. Kamui has to admit he’s enjoying watching how easily Minatsuki is man handled into drinking and snorting everything they give him. He likes how Minatsuki’s head shakes violently every time he comes up from a line. He likes how it takes four guys to keep him upright.   
By the 7th or so line though, Kamui realises this game has devolved solely into fucking up Minatsuki and as the only functioning adult left in the room (Which is a powerfully addictive feeling in itself, Kamui realises) he lifts Minatsuki out of the arms of a man trying to worm his way into Minatsuki’s shirt.   
They groan in disappointment.   
“AW come on-”   
“I think it’s time we bid our farewells”   
They look devastated as Minatsuki is dragged away.   
“Why’d you take me away? I feel great, actually, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this good in my entire life, Kamui. You’re so much fun” He has to brace against a wall “We should go out together more often, god we should go out soon” He grabs Kamui’s hand and practically squeals. “Fuck!”   
“You’re out of your mind” Kamui murmurs, trying to keep track of Minatsuki’s words and moods.   
“Honestly” He says, hands smoothing over Kamui’s clothes, he laughs hard and forced. “I’m so unhappy, Kamui. I drink and I fuck around and get fucked up and I don’t know why I do any of it”  
Wow. Okay. That blindsided Kamui a little.   
“Hey, Woah, what’s going on?” Kamui asks.   
There is a faraway look in Minatsuki’s eye that for a moment Kamui thinks is that bone deep loneliness before he realises it’s not quite that serious. Minatsuki passes out, falling to the ground in a wave of white blonde hair. He looks at peace in whatever substance- abuse- induced coma he’s landed himself in and Kamui strokes a thumb over his lip before carrying him back to his room.   
Minatsuki wakes up against the wall, with Kamui rummaging in his pockets for his room key.   
“You pervert” he breathes with a smile, lolling his head against the wall. “I should tell Laica before I forget-”   
“Fuck Laica” Kamui says sharply. “I’m beginning to think” He’s slightly nervous this gamble wont pay off, that investing this whole night in Minatsuki only to drop him off at his room with a glass of water is going to land him in that nice guys Minatsuki has under his thumb court. “He’s the beginning and end of all your problems, boss” He rubs his lips along Minatsuki’s rumpled collar.   
Minatsuki cocks his eyebrow “No, Kamui”   
Kamui blanches. “Excuse me?”   
“I said N, O. No” Minatsuki says. “Do you-” He hiccups. “Think I’m blind” He winces against the alcohol.   
Kamui is speechless.   
“Anyway thanks for carrying me” Minatsuki says at begins to unlock the door.   
He’s filled with such uncontrollable rage that he slams the door open just as Minatsuki’s closing it.   
“Ow...Kamui, that hurt” He hisses, holding his wrist.   
“Good. I’m glad to know you feel something” Kamui snarls. “Do you really think you can sit there and tease me all night? Talk like you did and not expect this? You’re a fucking idiot-”   
Minatsuki gaze has shifted and suddenly Kamui can see the rise and fall of his chest.   
“Close the door” He whispers, lips parted and eyes blown wide.   
Kamui blinks. “What?”   
Minatsuki sighs. “Forget it”   
Kamui grabs his wrist. “Wait- no. Close the door?” He intones.   
“Yes” Minatsuki says, harsh and snapped.   
Kamui does and in bare lighting, the green of the fire escape sign and the yellow of the streets, Minatsuki motions him forward.   
“I’m going to fuck you up, you tease” Kamui growls and Minatsuki grins.   
“Good”   
Their kiss is bitingly harsh, all tongue and teeth and friction. Minatsuki moans like a whore when Kamui bites his skin. Over-sensitive with everything he’s taken and still riding the coattails of his high.   
“Kamui-” he whines, whole body shaking as Kamui trails hard and bruising fingers under his shirt.   
“Do you know how many of those guys would die to be where I am now?” He throws Minatsuki to the sheets and doesn’t give him time to sit up before he’s undoing the boys shirt.   
“Do you know half the effect you have on people?” He bites down Minatsuki chest and Minatsuki practically screams, his toes curling and his eyes squeezed shut.   
He leaves a harsh, purple hickey on the skin between the end of Minatsuki ribs and the start of his stomach, as he practically rips of his trousers.   
Minatsuki’s barely managing to pull in air now and it’s alluring in an odd way. More enjoyable to watch him in bits then watch him be seductive.   
“You really are such a desperate whore” He groans, as he holds Minatsuki down and pulls his tie off.   
Minatsuki gasps and writhes, mouth open and eyes fluttering.   
“Good boy” Kamui smirks and gathers Minatsuki’s hands over his head, the tie slipping-  
“What’re you doing”   
It’s the sudden sobriety in Minatsuki’s voice that is completely disarming.   
“Tying your hands?” Kamui tries.   
“Oh are you now” Minatsuki sits himself up and Kamui backs off only out of confusion.   
“Oh come on” kamui laughs it off and leans down. “You’re into it”   
Minatsuki’s foot is on his chest, holding him off.   
“No. I’m not”   
Kamui almost cries with frustration.   
“Come on! Like you haven’t been tied up before”   
Minatsuki considers. “No, I don’t think I have”   
“You’re telling me Laica hasn’t tied you up before?”   
It’s completely the wrong thing to say. He watches the way Minatsuki tense, watches the coldness in those eyes all of a sudden.   
“Yeah. I’m going out” He smiles a tight and vicious smile and slips out from under Kamui with ease. Kamui leans up, letting the sheets pool at his waist.   
“Are you serious? Come on, babe-”   
“Don’t call me babe”   
“Just- Are you fucking serious? You gonna leave me high and dry?” Kamui throws his hands up and Minatsuki laughs, sharp and delicious.   
“Shouldn’t have tried to kill me” He says, delighted with himself as he pulls on his shirt and swings his shoe over his shoulder, holding the laces.   
“That’s what this is about? You’re-You’re such a bitch”   
Minatsuki blows him a kiss from the door and with a flash of golden hair is gone. 

By breakfast Kamui has come up with an ingenious plan. It goes as such- Minatsuki couldn’t feasible remember last night, it was actually impossible, given how he’d consumed the bar and,like, an entire pound of cocaine.   
So Kamui just slips into conversation how they slept together, makes Laica beautifully uncomfortable and Minatsuki his life partner. Or something to that effect.   
Minatsuki is drinking a coffee as Laica tells him off, all articulate hand gestures and whispered shouts.   
“Are you listening to me?” Laica snarls. “Do you have any idea the risk you’ve put the entire country in? And for what?”   
Minatsuki looks wrecked and he winces everytime Laica raises his voice.   
“Oh my god” he snaps. “Shut up, Laica”   
Kamui sits down. “Morning gents”   
“Morning!” Minatsuki sounds cheery, still keeping up his cold shoulder on Laica.   
“Morning you” He says in a tone that makes Laica’s head whip round.   
Minatsuki smiles into his coffee.   
“So what did you achieve last night Minatsuki?” Laica’s tone is acid. Industrial level acid.  
It’s great.   
“You do remember what happened don’t you…” Kamui makes himself sound concerned. “You remember us?” He laughs “In between the lines”   
Laica looks like a mormon at an orgy. His shock is practically a living creature.   
“Oh no” Minatsuki says, tone suddenly playful. “I remember everything, Kamui” His gaze is pinning. “Everything”   
Laica is looking between them.   
“Oh and this for you” Minatsuki snaps suddenly, pushing a piece of napkin across the table.   
Laica looks at it. “The codes-”   
“What the fuck” Kamui almost screams. It’s humiliation, raw and sickening that ripples through him. How much of it was faked? How much of the evening had Minatsuki planned?   
“I’m beginning to think” Minatsuki puts a finger to his lip “You maybe thought I was a lot more drunk than I was”   
“You bastard” Kamui snarls.   
“You shouldn’t have tried to kill me, Kamui”


	5. Wise up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I should warn now that this is really dark. I didn't mean for it to get this dark it just sort of happened.   
> But Gilbert is insane and so I sort of just went with that.

“Have you read Frankenstein?”   
The morning light slips in between them, already much too hot as they sit at breakfast, just the two of them. He watches the child closely and smiles when those charcoal eyes hit his with apathetic terror. He does always presume he’s done something wrong. Gilbert quite likes that.   
“No”   
The tone makes it clear, however, that he’s aware of it.   
“It’s a cautionary tale” Gilbert taps the table twice, close to the boys hands. “On the dangers of what you’re currently doing”   
It’s not like Gilbert dislikes what the boy is doing it’s just he worries about the outcome, that’s all, and he cares about Minatsuki. He hates watching people destined for better things get caught up in people that drag them down.   
And this Reggie seems to have a supernatural ability to draw people in.   
“I don’t know what you mean” Minatsuki mumbles, kicking his legs petulantly. “Besides, He’s not-”   
“A monster?” Gilbert supplies.   
“Dead” Minatsuki snaps.   
“He may as well have been.” He leans forward, vicious in just the right way that makes any child, no matter how precocious or powerful, crumble. “You dragged that poor dead boy from the rubble and forced a new lease of life into a creature that didn’t deserve it and Minatsuki, dear, I worry it’ll be your undoing-”  
It’s the first time Gilbert can remember being interrupted by him.   
“I promise” The boys voice is so close to cracking. “I know what I’m doing” 

Gilbert Ross hates being wrong and he was wrong about this. Not fully wrong but wrong enough that there was a smug look on the boys face when he paraded around his shiny, working toy.   
And the toy was a masterpiece.   
At first, the blonde boy was quiet and only seemed to make noise when threatened or when he was breathing harsh from training- which he spent most of his time doing but slowly, through the cracks, something skin-crawling perfect appeared.   
It was only when he turned fifthteen, when Laica murmured a soft and oh so gentle ‘happy birthday’ and Minatsuki shot him a wide smile, that everything clicked in Gilbert’s mind.   
Laica was in love. Maybe he’d always been in love but the idea of a strong and one track minded reggie to protect him had seemed, at least to Gilbert, like a fairly pragmatic idea.   
This, however, all soft smiles and strokes along the back, was not what Gilbert wanted nor expected from Laica. 

Frankly, it was pathetic. Frankly, it was annoying. Frankly, Gilbert was jealous.

He was unhinged. He could recognise that in himself. He’d always been a little unhinged but that boy, that boy with his blonde hair and perfect muscle and complete lack of understanding that in the long run he meant nothing to anyone.  
Pissed Gilbert off. It also pissed Gilbert of that Laica was so doting.   
It pissed Gilbert off that he was becoming equally obsessed. 

The boy was a witch and Gilbert worried, that with enough free thought, he might corrupted his Laica and that was unacceptable. Besides, Gilbert knew first hand the devastating effect of love. 

As close as they were they were children and children, regardless of how strong they thought they were, crumbled under the scrutiny of adults.   
Separating them was the hard part. They were glued together but once apart it became frighteningly apparent they could barely exist without the other.   
That annoyed him even more but taking it out on Laica seemed ineffectual. Laica was never the problem.   
“You wanted to see me?”   
“Ah yes, great leader” Gilbert smiles, tight but warm. He edges a little pride into it and watches Minatsuki lap it up. “It’s about Laica”   
He watches with fascination as Minatsuki’s head cocks.   
“What about him?”   
It wasn’t that Gilbert was good at lying. It was that Gilbert took deep, bellied satisfaction in lying. He adored lying and so the words trip off his tongue easier than the truth probably would.   
“I worry about his progress” He runs a hand through his hair and scrubs his face like he’s at his wits end.   
“We’re- he’s young, he’ll learn” Minatsuki says it with that leader like assurance that would convince anyone. It would be impressive if it weren’t so fucking annoying.   
Gilbert wants to leap across the desk and wrap his hands around that pretty throat until the boy screams and kicks and goes limp, with a blank, shocked look in his eyes and hair in his mouth. Then Gilbert could prize him open and see exactly how little is left inside that head of his- would you like that, Minatsuki? You fucking-   
“Sir?”   
He sighs and smiles.   
“I’m going to ask him to leave-”   
“NO!”   
It’s probably the loudest thing Minatsuki’s ever said.   
“Oh?” He keeps the anger just a little concealed. Even if he feels nothing inside, he’s learnt it’s best to layer you’re tone, just to suggest that you do.   
He watches the thoughts play out across Minatsuki’s features- back then, he wasn’t as good as hiding how he felt. It starts bristled, as though he plans to go in heavy, maybe push the boundaries on his apparent leadership. It moves to despairing, as though the idea of Laica leaving sickens him and finally to where Gilbert wants him- surrendered.   
“Please” His head hangs, collar length blonde hair, bolt straight, falling across his face. “I’ll do anything”   
“Anything?” Gilbert smiles, tone instantly cheery. “Okay Minatsuki. Come here”   
The boy moves, legs heavy and eyes distant, till he’s standing over Gilbert, still looking small as he stares down. Gilbert pats his lap, still smiling.   
Minatsuki lets out a puff of breath. Cheeks blushing.   
“Regulus-” He sounds bashful but it hides his fear badly.   
He snaps a finger and Minatsuki flinches as he pointedly drops an index finger on his thigh.   
“Sit”   
Minatsuki sucks on his cheek before sitting down. He’s light and muscled, like a well trained race horse. Gilbert wants nothing more than to shoot him in the head. He almost strokes his mane but he doesn’t want to spook him.  
He smiles at his own analogy.   
“Kiss me”   
Minatsuki seems to short circuit. His whole body tensing as his eyes widen just half an inch, his finger tips curling in like he’s going to lash out but he doesn’t, instead- because he’s so, so well trained- he leans in and drops a soft kiss on Gilbert’s cheek.   
It’s disappointing.   
He catches Minatsuki’s chin, thumb resting on his bottom lip. Minatsuki looks terrified now. From where his hand is perched on the underside of the boys chin he can feel the frantic beat of his pulse.   
“Have you ever kissed anyone”   
Minatsuki shakes his head.   
“Oh what an honour” Gilbert grins, shark like.   
He leans in, soft and slow and lets their lips only just brush. It’s not forward, or frantic but it doesn’t have to be because it’s not about the kiss, it’s about the power and Minatsuki’s hung head is like a white flag in the wind. He’s trembling and- perfect- he’s crying. It’s just one tear, trailing down the pale expanse of his cheek but it’s enough.   
It’s more than enough. He’s ruined Laica’s little toy. 

But that’s what Gilbert thought the first time he killed someone, the girl had been so perfect for him.  
But it wasn’t enough. 

Minatsuki starts to drink a week later. He comes back late and smelling of sweet cocktails and men’s cologne. Izanami watches, intrigued. Yuna stares, unblinking and Laica, Laica seethes.   
It’s as though the gods lay out a platter for Gilbert. Sometimes he does wonder if he’s supernatural or just lucky because everything, always works out for him.   
“I don’t know what to do” Laica is pacing. “Regulus, he’s…”   
“Out of line” Gilbert agrees. “But you have to understand, Laica-”   
“Don’t tell me this is my fault!” Laica shouts, finger pointed. Gilbert has to be careful with Laica, especially in these moods, especially with that power.   
“Alright…” He puts his hands up but the seed has been planted and now Laica is thinking about it and thinking about it. Letting it eat him up. 

Minatsuki is wild now. Gilbert hears them argue one night.   
Screaming and throwing things like a married couple.   
“You fucking drunk-”   
“Go to bed Laica”   
“You’re meant to be our leader-”   
“Says who?” Minatsuki screams. “You? Regulus? Maybe I don’t want to fucking lead anything!-”   
“Then what do you want to do? Drink away your sorrows-”   
“Yes!” Minatsuki’s laugh is hyena like. “That’s exactly what I want”   
“You’re so selfish” Laica snarls.   
“OH here we fucking go” Minatsuki throws back the last of whatever his brought home with him.   
“You’re unbelievable” Laica stalks forward. “You don’t know anything-”   
Minatsuki mask of passive anger seems to snap right of his face. “No” He says, tears in his eyes. “No I don’t”   
Laica seems to stop there too and their ragged breath fills the air.   
“I fucking hate you” Minatsuki shouts and throws the bottle.   
“You better fucking clean that up right now”   
It snaps them both out of their trance and they spin like caught children. Which, Gilbert thinks, is exactly what they are. They’ve never heard him swear before and the shock silences them both.   
“How long” He points between the booze and Minatsuki. The boy blinks.   
“Regulus-” Laica tries, voice shy and soft again.   
“I’m not talking to you” He snaps.   
“How long have you been sneaking out to get drunk, Minatsuki”   
Minatsuki’s face is snarled up and bitter and he just rolls his eyes and laughs.   
“I think you know how long”  
It snaps something precarious in Gilbert.   
“You little shit” He slams his hand on the desk but he realises, dimly, this is all Minatsuki wants. He wants him to snap. He wants to see him snap. The realisation is like a wave over sun scorched sand and he laughs as Minatsuki’s eyes widen with despair. “Go to bed. We’ll talk in the morning” He pats his head softly. 

Children. 

Convincing Laica that this is his fault is so after that easy.   
“Why does he do it?” Laica asks, head in his hand. “It was all going so well…”   
“The drinking?” Gilbert says.   
Laica nods. It falls into place so easily.   
“Maybe he drinks to forget”   
Laica laughs a sharp little laugh. “Forget what?” It’s sarcastic, almost a joke.   
Gilbert holds the boys gaze.   
“That he can’t remember” 

They fall apart, off course they do. Laica retreats, filled with guilt and crushing worry and Minatsuki slides further into the role they wanted him in and further away from the bright boy that emerged from the ashes of that empty mind.   
Gilbert bathes in the joy. Minatsuki never tells Laica about the arrangement they have and Gilbert comes up with a reason for Laica’s failure every week until eventually he doesn’t have to. Minatsuki just arrives of his own accord. Dead eyed and sad as Gilbert strokes his hair and forces him to his knees.   
Later, once Minatsuki’s hair reaches his hip and his eyes are frozen over they would retreat to exclusive hotels and Minatsuki would give him a resigned smile and stay perfectly still and silent as he was fucked.   
But it gets boring.   
Again, he needs more.   
“I kill people you know” He says one night, stroking patterns across Minatsuki’s back.   
“I know”   
“No” Gilbert laughs as he leans close. “I really kill people, for fun, Innocent people. aout 40 or so of them I think”   
Minatsuki tenses a little and Gilbert loves it.   
“How cold you are pisses me off.” He hauls him by his hair. “They all scream and beg you know”  
“Ow” Minatsuki grits his teeth.   
“So I thought I’d tell you.” He whispers it into Minatsuki’s ear. How he likes brunettes best. What he does to them. How much fun it is. How much he gets off on it. “I wrapped my hand around a girls throat once” he demonstrates. “It’s funny, how little it takes to end a life”   
He feels Minatsuki swallow against the loose grip.   
“I told them all how worthless they were” He bites Minatsuki’s ear. “And I want you to know how worthless you are. I want you to know how little Laica cares, even though you’ve done” He trails a hand over Minatsuki’s shoulder and sighs in delight. “All of this for him”   
That gets him. He watches the tears trail down those perfect cheeks. Unchecked and broken.   
“Ah, that’s better Minatsuki” He drops his grip and pats the boys cheek. “Much better” 

“I think making Minatsuki was a mistake” Laica says one day as they package up more drugs. Gilbert laughs.   
“Oh no, Minatsuki” He turns him by the shoulder and gives him a smile that explains it all so well. Laica looks instantly sick.   
“It was a brilliant idea”


	6. Not going to stop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little happier. Although, who am I kidding, it's me so it's still really fucking angsty.

He’d always been like this.   
Izanami had the privilege of knowing the whole story. She had the privilege of being the only unbiased on looker.   
Maybe that’s why the whole situation made her so incredibly sad because what Laica seemed to forget, in amongst Regulus’ praise of how well Minatsuki turned out, is that he’d always been like this. 

She never bothered to learn his name- A thing that in hindsight she fully regrets, at the time it didn’t seem like it mattered-but she knew of him.   
It was Minatsuki- The real one, quiet and subdued, slightly awkward and always alone- who had pointed him out first.   
“What about him?” Izanami had asked, gaze still fully trained on someone else even as she was spoken to.   
“He’s funny”   
That grabbed her attention, she remembers finding it out because Minatsuki took interest in very little.   
“He’s…” Izanami had struggled. “Fine”   
Because the boy was ‘fine’. Fine in that way that made young children desperately jealous. Wise beyond his years in a funny and inclusive way. Where he sat, others naturally gathered and people would bend backwards to get the blonde boys attention and, no matter how annoying or chattery they were, the boy would never fail to flash them a smile or say a hello.   
They were children though and children were cruel, even if the blonde boy seemed heaven sent, his presence seemed to send the other kids into a frenzy.   
A thing Izanami noticed about the boy was that he took interest in people, specifically the people who weren’t interested in him but he’d get bored quickly and left them doting at his feet.   
At the time it had made Izanami really angry. They way he threw his charm around so helplessly, it was annoying. Now, with the ability to look at how his life panned out all she feels is guilt.   
In fact she struggles to think about the smiling blonde boy, with rosy cheeks and lack of inhibition that made him seem like everyone’s best friend. Back then though, it had been genuine. 

It didn’t take long before she noticed the change in Minatsuki because she’d seen the exact same thing happen before. Maybe that’s why she hated that kid back then.   
“Stop staring” She said one lunch time. Staring herself at a rosy cheeked girl sat with a quiet demure boy. In hindsight, she’d been a hypocrite and maybe that killed her a little bit but she can’t blame herself for everything.   
“I’m not”   
“You are”   
Minatsuki pursed his lips and scraped his fork along the plate.   
“Have you ever spoken to him?”   
Minatsuki looked up, like Izanami had just suggested he kill someone’s dog.   
“Spoken to him? God, no”   
Izanami had noticed the blonde boys eyes then, from a few tables over, lingering over Minatsuki with an odd intent gaze. She would have mentioned it but she’d felt angry at the time. Scared, maybe, that Minatsuki would leave her like Koku had.   
There were a lot of maybes that she’d decided not to dwell on but maybe if she’d told him things could have been different.   
“He’s too cool to notice you” She’d said instead.   
“I know” Minatsuki had answered much to quickly. She remembers how sad he’d looked. The way his bangs just covered his eyes and a strand of hair had been caught in his lip. 

A few days later the world changes. At least for Minatsuki.   
They’re sitting at the empty table they always sit at when someone sits opposite them.   
“Do you mind?”   
Minatsuki doesn’t say a word but she watches the way his jaw works like he’s trying. She helps him.   
“No” She smiles.   
It’s the boy. Blonde one Minatsuki wont stop gushing about. Here. She begins to wonder, in that way children do, if maybe she’s just meant to not have friends.   
“What’s your name?” The boy asks, smiling wide and excitably. He ducks his head a little to try and catch Minatsuki’s eye. Izanami almost wants to tell him just to give up.   
“Min-” Izanami watches his voice give out. She waits for the boy to laugh. He doesn’t. “Minatsuki”   
“That’s a cool name” The boy says instead.   
“Why are you here?” Izanami asks, she smiles but she means it. She gets a horrible feeling the boy, all popular and pretty, is just here to mock them.   
“My friends are really loud” He laughs sheepishly.   
“Well, loud is a thing we are certainly not” Minatsuki mumbles. The boys eyes flash back to Minatsuki, filled with attraction and an attentiveness that makes Minatsuki seem to simultaneously shrink back and move forward. The boy laughs.   
“No, you are not”   
Their eyes meet and Izanami watches the pure adoration that fills them is worrying in its intensity.   
“What’s your name?-” Minatsuki tries.  
“What are you doing here man?” A boy plonks himself beside the pretty blonde boy and then two more and then three until the whole table- their table- is filled.   
“Escaping you” The boy says and the table lights up with laughter.   
Izanami ignores how Minatsuki bristles.

The more the nameless boy chases Minatsuki the more jealous the others become until one day, the pretty boy just gives up. 

It’s actually the only conversation the two ever had before, well, everything happened and then suddenly Minatsuki was that blonde boy and Izanami could see him as nothing else. 

Doesn’t stop her feeling sick about it. Doesn’t stop her feeling guilty. 

So she does what she can. 

Like when she finds him in the hallway one day. She’d actually been going to see Yuna, she’d heard she was ill and had wanted- stupidly- to help. Another case she felt guilty for. Another thing she blamed herself for.   
Laica took blame for nothing, he was almost shameless in his actions. So maybe it was guilt by association.   
Regardless it was guilt.   
She doesn’t find Yuna though. She finds Minatsuki. Though honestly what’s the difference these days.   
He’s got his knuckles in his mouth, hair covering his face as he shakes. He’s surprisingly quiet for someone who’s clearly sobbing.   
“Minatsuki” She calls.   
He straightens himself and turns. Smiling as he wipes his eyes.   
“Are you alright?”   
Izanami always thinks it’s good to turn over a new leaf and being nice to the blonde boy is a thing she’s perfected.   
“Off course” He squeezes his eyes shut and lets out a little laugh. “It’s just…”   
“Bad day?”   
“Bad…” She watches him tear up, the the flush on his cheeks shows the dip of his cheekbones, the rings under his eyes, the tremble in his hands, the strands of hair that are curled and out of place. “Bad 24 hours…”   
He rather unexpectedly drops his head onto her shoulder as hs shoulders tense like he’s about to scream. She catches him.   
It’s a surprise to say the least.   
He says he can’t go back to his room at the moment and so she takes him to the steps of the hotel they’re in and gets him a cup of tea in a plastic up from a water dispenser. The midday sun is aggressively hot and for a moment she’s worried about his skin burning.   
He laughs.   
“The plastic will melt” Minatsuki huffs out, lips turned down as he cradles it from her, it bulges awkwardly and spills beside him.   
“Yeah I didn’t consider that” She says.  
“No, no It’s fine.” he puts it down pulls out one of those little yellow vials and three pills as well as a packet of cigarettes. “Do you mind?” He says as he puts it to his lips.   
She shakes her head and he flicks out his lighter.   
“We both grew up with Regulus” She tries at a joke, but it’s heavy on her tongue. She wonders if that’s why he does it. Actually, with the cigarette balances on his lip and blonde hair pulled round one shoulder, clear blue eyes staring out at nothing, he actually looks a lot like Regulus. The thought scares her.   
Minatsuki laughs though, even if it seems to physically hurt him and it takes the edge of her fear. He’s just a boy.  
She watches him empty the yellow onto his tongue and take a drag before popping three headache pills and washing it down with tea.   
He is a mess. She wonders what it will take to break him or wether he’s just glued to the edge rather than teetering on it.   
She thinks though, if she was in his position, she’d probably be the same.   
“Regulus” Minatsuki’s eyes are shut, heel of his palm running across his temples as the cigarette burns slowly. Minatsuki’s lets out a sigh. “What a fucker”   
Izanami laughs and Minatsuki’s lips quirk a little.   
“I have a meeting with him”   
Izanami groans for him and he does too. It’s cathartic in a sense and Minatsuki is funny- he always has been. Sometimes she wishes she got to know him better.   
“Him and Kamui” Minatsuki says with a stress on the and, and a grin on his lips.   
“Well that would bring anyone to tears” She says gently and puts a hand on his shoulder.   
He tenses a little and his genuine smile twitches into the passive fake one she knows all too well.   
“Well” He smiles. “Thank you for the tea”   
“Don’t lie to me. It was dreadful” She shakes her head. He shrugs and winks.   
“It was what I needed” He says and she thinks, that maybe, he means it. 

When Laica obsessively asks later on where Minatsuki had gone of too. She answers with the same shrug she did when they were kids and the blonde boy who took notice of him went of to do whatever if was he went of to do. 

Because as much as Laica denied it and Regulus controlled him. 

He’d always been like this.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey...Remember how I was like 'this is the last chapter'  
> ...Yeah, apparently it's not. 
> 
> I had a final big chapter planned but then it was just TOO big so I decided to split it in two. 
> 
> Sorry...False alarm...it's not the end........sorry. 
> 
> Also this is meant to feel trippy but honestly it may just be hella confusing. I wrote this in a bit of a delirium as I delved into my deepest inner Minatsuki (I just got a bit drunk, went to a few posh parties and threw my hair around a lot...worked a trick)

My name’s Minatsuki, I’m the leader of Market Maker and past two o’clock yesterday my whole life is a blur

 

I. It's not what you thought

 

Sex with Regulus is like an outer body experience. It’s like watching a horror film from behind your fingers.  
He only recently managed to develop this technique. This complete dissociation.  
Before that he’d squeeze his eyes shut and think of Laica. Imagine his hands instead and pretend for a moment that everything was okay. Then he actually got with Laica. Then he actually felt those hands. The gentleness and the care that imbued the edge and the curve of his fingers. It wasn’t even that Laica was brilliant in bed. He was fine. It was- It was something else, something special that made the whole experience razor sharp in it’s clarity, in its emotion.  
Regulus' hands in comparison were like steam rollers over his chest and being run over every few nights was a thing Minatsuki couldn’t quite handle.  
But he was an idiot for thinking Regulus wouldn’t notice. 

It all happens in a bit of a blur. 

“I kill people you know” 

The conversation is muffled by the ring in Minatsuki’s ear. The shock of it all. The venom in Regulus’ voice. Frankly, it’s quite a lot to deal with on a friday night.  
But something sticks, something gets under his skin that throws him off. 

“I want you to know how little Laica care” 

It’s funny.  
Because no one makes it clear how little they care more than Laica. Laica actively takes Minatsuki aside to inform him how little he cares.  
But it still hurts. It hurts hearing it from Regulus. 

“Have fun tonight” Regulus is buttoning up his shirt. “Tell me if they’re suitable or not and remember tomorrow-”  
Minatsuki nods, biting away at the nail of his thumb.  
“Stop biting your nails” Regulust snaps. “It’s so ugly”  
The snap of the free edge fills the empty room and Regulus gives him a look, pausing on his tie.  
“Get your head in the game, Minatsuki”  
“Believe me, sir. There is no where else for my head to be” Minatsuki stands, ignores how shaky he is and makes his way to the door before Gilbert has time to reply because if there is one thing Minatsuki is good at it’s getting the last word.  
It doesn’t stop him from clutching his chest the second he gets out the hotel room. From screaming into his hands and digging his nails into his palms to control himself.  
The short walk to the King’s cloud hotel and casino bar didn’t clear his head in the least and as he sits he forgets the guy he’s meetings name. 

 

II. When you first began it

 

“Have you been waiting long?”  
No, I was just upstairs being emotionally manipulated by my boss and having an existential crisis over the boy of my dreams who apparently thinks I’m worthless. God he fucking hates himself. 

“No, no, not long at all” 

The man is watching him with the growing adoration that a lot of people watch him with. That’s nice. It’s good to know he hasn’t lost his edge. Then again, according to Kamui, the only way he could lose his edge was if someone threw acid in his face because in Kamui’s words-  
‘You need to get it in your dumb blonde head that all you are is pretty. You are the most vapid, fake person I think I’ve ever met and I’ve been to every strip bar in the country’  
He blinks as the guy begins to talk and Minatsuki taps his glass to try and regain just a little bit of focus.  
Focus.  
Jesus christ he needs a drink. 

“This place is lovely”  
The answer he gives, the conversation that follows, is all said through the veneer of professionalism Minatsuki has the god given power to just put on even though he wants to flip the table and burst into tears. 

“I’m actually here to proposition you” 

God he’s such a slut. The man’s eyes light up and a strand of bright red hair falls over his eyes. Minatsuki focuses on it as he gets him to sign his soul away. It’s textured in a weird way, like dreadlocks almost. Maybe it’s because it’s so different to his own, there are little strands of gold and white through the thick auburn that catch the light. He almost touches it.  
Yeah, this is it. He’s lost it. 

It thunders outside and the two of them get caught in a monsoon that they only just manage to get under a stairwell to escape.  
“Your hair!” He says. Quinn! Fuck, that’s his name. Quinn.  
“Quinn” He says in response. It’s the first time he’s said his name and Quinn’s head spins to meet him as he pulls his hand back from where it was collecting rain. “I just...I just want you to know-”  
Quinn turns, all unaware of protocol and unsure where he stands and swipes wet hair out of Minatsuki’s face with a kindness- a friendliness- that makes Minatsuki lean forward. That makes his fingers twitch and his chest constrict.  
“You okay?”  
“After I do this would you object to me never doing it again, Quinn?” He says, shouting over the rain. It runs down his cheeks like tears, plasters his shirt to him and makes his trembling look normal.  
“ What?”  
Minatsuki smiles hopelessly and launches forward. Their lips meet wetly and he shakes in the cold but the water makes the kiss softer and Quinn cups the back of his neck and bottom of his back and he lifts himself onto the tip of one foot as he cups the others cheeks.  
Lightning cracks when they part.  
“Well-that was-I-” Water drops off his chin. “Y-you struck me as that type...just not...this type-”  
Minatsuki looks down, panting. “I’m not that type” He shouts over the thunder.  
“No it was just” Quinn breathes out. “Oddly romantic”  
“I’ve never kissed anyone in the rain before” Minatsuki smiles weakly and straightens out the soaked lines of his jacket. Quinn lets him.  
“Well I’m glad to be your first something. It was nice really, no it was great” Quinn laughs, hands awkwardly raised as if I wants to hug Minatsuki.  
“I’m not usually like this” Minatsuki says, struggling. “I just had-”  
A bad taste in his mouth and an awful ability to wrap hapless people around his finger.  
“I’m an awful, awful person, Quinn” He says.  
Quinn laughs. “Okay, okay I believe you” 

By the end he really will. 

“You’re soaked”  
Laica throws him a towel.  
“Did you introduce yourself to the new guy soaked like that?”  
Minatsuki doesn’t answer, instead he brushes his hair and pulls back the sheets.  
“Why aren’t you talking to me?”  
He turns and Laica’s shoulders square. It’s an annoying thing he’s noticed about Laica, how he’s always prepared for a fight, always expecting conflict when all Minatsuki wants is just two minutes of peace, of Laica’s arms and nothing else.  
“I spoke to Regulus about tomorrow”  
Laica tenses.  
“Did Regulus mention anything else?” Laica sounds sickened, like his throat is closing.  
“No. He didn’t”  
Except the whole ‘ Laica hates you’ stuff but Laica’s reaction to this conversation confirms Regulus’ words.  
“You can go, Laica”  
There is a silence and Minatsuki wants nothing more than to scream into it, to tell Laica to just fuck off.  
“Sure, Minatsuki”  
With the click of the door Minatsuki falls to his knees. 

 

III You got what you want

 

The morning brings a painful headache and a horrible day ahead. Even if everything were to go to plan, exact and meticulous like Laica would want, the day would still be awful but the thing with Market Maker is, things never go to plan.  
He’s still completely out of it. He recognises that this is a problem. He’s got a horrible, curling sick feeling in his stomach from Regulus’ words from yesterday. From the dinner with that ginger boy who will probably last the week. Who he took full, and complete advantage off. 

Sometimes he’s terrified that he’s turning into Regulus. 

Things go wrong by lunch.  
Laica comes back carrying Yuna with Kamui screaming beside him.  
“She’s fucking psycho, we got to do something about her- I swear to god Laica-”  
“What happened?” Minatsuki takes Yuna as Laica hands her over and their hands brush.  
“The fuck do I know?” Kamui says.  
“Will you be okay for this afternoon?” Minatsuki asks.  
“Oh jee fucking thanks Minatsuki, You know I’m hurt right?” Kamui shows him his arm. Izanami appears, talking to Laica. It throws Minatsuki off and the only reply he can think of is a quiet.  
“Yeah, sorry. Are you okay?”  
Kamui looks like he’s grown a second head, like the whole world has just focused in on the two of them.  
“No- yes uh, It’s fine” Kamui flushes.  
Maybe it’s his inability to focus that makes him take too long of a look at Kamui, without makeup, stood against the door in amongst the muted beiges and fake marble.  
Kamui has a surprisingly gentle face when you catch him of guard. He’s broad and tall and strong and could probably snap something neck with half his strength. Minatsuki shudders because he knows just how strong Kamui is. He did almost kill him. Maybe it’s the idea of hands on him that are warm and calloused, the drag of nails and not clinical and surgical ice cold ones, intent on drawing out the things Minatsuki wants to keep hidden that makes him slightly swoon for Kamui in that moment.  
He wonders what he’d have to offer him to kill Regulus for him-  
“You alright?”  
Something is splintering inside him, like someone’s forcing a shard of glass directly through him. Separating what he wants to be from what he is.  
Though, if he’s honest, he doesn’t know what he is nor how to tell the difference. 

“I don’t know” He says with a smile. 

They leave Yuna in his room and Laica takes a step towards him as the room breathes nothing but Yuna’s laboured gasps into the silence around them.  
“I didn’t see what happened-”  
“Why were you in the area?”  
He doesn’t mean to sound so angry, not that it will come across as angry. He so rarely raises his voice that everything he says comes across sweetened. Sometimes it’s another thing he wishes he didn’t have. Sometimes he wants to be able to shout every word like Kamui does.  
“Regulus”  
That one word is like a punch to the gut. Off course, with everything that’s been going on, off course the two of them would conspire against him. His head spins a little and for half a moment he thinks he might pass out.  
“Ah, so above my clearance then”  
He’s surprised he’s keeping his tone so even because he wants to throttle Laica right now. In Fact he’s practically drooling he wants to fucking kill him so much.  
“He’d tell you if you asked”  
“I’m sure”  
“Minatsuki-”  
He watches her come to. Watches the movement under the sheets and understands exactly what it’s like to wake up confused and scared under Laica and a blonde man’s gaze. 

What’s that phrase about shadows and people you hate? 

He can’t remember but he knows it’s applicable. 

Maybe it’s some dangerous rebel streek inside of him. Maybe it’s Yuna’s tone- all victimised and upset when, in fact, he’s in exactly the same position that makes his temper snap. Maybe it’s what regulus had said last night, or the ginger boy he kissed, maybe it was Laica’s sudden coldness.  
Maybe it was the fact he couldn’t remember anything about himself.  
It’s a thing he never acknowledges in himself.  
He knows Laica has heard his outburst. He knows because god forbid Laica leave him alone for more than two minutes at a time.  
But two can play at manipulation and as powerful as Laica and Regulus think they might be, Minatsuki’s no idiot. 

“We can trust each other” 

It’s not a lie. Yuna can trust him and besides, she doesn’t need to know his intentions-

The fact he may ruin the most reputable secret service in world for the sake of an unrequited crush on a man who’s done nothing but pick him apart. 

It’s actually quite funny when you put it like that. 

 

IV- Now you can hardly stand it, though

 

So it’s late afternoon and he’s having a full on breakdown. He really should have seen this coming, given the events of the last 24 hours but Yuna threw a spanner in the works and now Regulus is demanding an audience before tonights mission.  
His fingers tremble on the vial Laica pressed into his hand and begged him to take.  
‘Please’  
His tone worried and his hand warm on Minatsuki’s shoulder.  
‘You’re scaring me, Minatsuki’  
Oh fuck off. He’d wanted to scream it but Kamui had been in the room.  
All these years of tortures and lies for him and now he finds out- full truth from Regulus because why on earth would the man bother to lie?- that the boy barely cares.  
One point to laica though because Minatsuki never thought he’d be able to lie that coherently. 

 

“Are you okay?” 

Izanami sits him down, all motherly and worried but perfectly, perfectly removed from the situation.  
She gives him tissues and tea and says all the right things to stop him foaming at the mouth.  
She makes a joke about Regulus when he plants a Cigarette in his mouth and empties the liquid onto his tongue, pops pills like parma violets and downs the tea like it’s the whiskey he wishes he were drinking.  
He can’t blame her. 

He is becoming his own worst enemy. 

It’s all terribly cliche.  
(Which, painfully, is a lot like something Regulus would say) 

Fuck.

 

V. You're sure there's a cure

 

“The thing about Market Maker, which is why we keep losing people-”  
They’re in the car, headed to meet Regulus as Kamui talks at them about how inadequate he expects the new guy to be and Laica stares at Minatsuki.  
He pointedly refuses to meet the gaze.  
“Is, you know, it’s a doggie dog world and I’m sure Quinn is a lovely guy but-”  
Minatsuki looks up. That gets his attention.  
“Did you just say doggie dog world?”  
“It’s a term of phrase-” Kamui raises an eyebrow.  
That gets Laica’s attention.  
“You mean turn of phrase”  
Minatsuki purses his lips, smile pulling his cheeks up as he leans on his hand.  
“Kamui, It’s a dog eat dog world.”  
Kamui pauses.  
“No it’s not”  
“Yes it is”  
They say it perfectly in unison and Minatsuki turns when Laica speaks. It’s sickeningly friendly. Reminds him painfully of a time when they were teens and would finish eachothers sentences.  
“Al-fucking-right, Minatsukis” Kamui barks, flushed and defensive.  
Something about the term, ‘the Minatsukis’ sets Minatsuki’s teeth on edge, like they’re the same person. Which they are not.  
Aren’t they?  
“Not my fault you’re an idiot” Minatsuki snaps.  
“Stop it, Minatsuki” Laica says.  
“Bite me, boss” Kamui snarls.  
Minatsuki snaps his teeth shut and Kamui tilts his head because there is something unabashedly sexual about it. It surprises Minatsuki as well.  
Laica shifts beside them.  
The jealousy makes Minatsuki power hungry.  
An unfortunate side effect of being a reggie is it makes you constantly insane. 

Ah but here’s the thing- When things go Minatsuki’s way, someone usually ruins it within ten minutes. He should really start considering not caring at all. 

“Like a honey trap”  
He hates the way Laica says it. As though he’s defending Minatsuki’s honour.  
It’s in tatters anyway, Laica.  
“Shouldn’t be hard” Kamui teases. “Given how much of slut you are, Minatsuki”  
That makes him smile because it’s honest. He is a slut, it’s funny and the words ‘It’s a doggie dog world, Kamui’ are on the tip of his tongue, ready to tumble out effortlessly-  
“Well, it’s the truth” Regulus says with a smile over whatever Minatsuki was about to say and the atmosphere goes tight with tension. “Is there anyone in this room you haven’t slept with Minatsuki?”  
Silence, silence, silence. Another nail in the proverbial coffin because of course, Laica’s righteous anger over Minatsuk's promiscuity only shows face when it wants to not when he’s actually in trouble. 

And then Kamui steps in like some knight in shining armour and you know, you know things are bad when your calling Kamui your saving grace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lyrics used in these weird dividers i only used cos im pretentious are from Wise up by Aimee Man.


	8. Just give up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this actually is it. I had so much fun writing this...I really hope it's come together the way I imagined it come to together...
> 
> I may have tried to be too deep for my own good.
> 
> This sort of turned into one of those song fics like with lyrics...which im usually not too keen on but it seemed to really work for this.

Maybe everything falls apart because it should.  
Everything feels fantastic when it falls apart. 

Minatsuki is not dumb. He knows the effect he has on people. He notices the frenzied look in the men’s eyes through dinner and he indulges them on the shortest leash possible through the first bottle of wine and the second and the champagne and campari.  
He throws his head back in the right way and lets them come in close enough to smell his cologne. He smiles with a predatory edge when they lean close and plays coy when they outright ask for his room number.  
It’s nice because he’s in control.  
It’s peaceful in an odd way. It’s better when kamui and Laica appear and stare with equally hungry eyes and nails in their chairs.  
“You have beautiful hair” One man says and Minatsuki wants to purr with delight because, yes, he does and it takes ages to make it look like this and half a night in bed with Laica sends it into knots that the two of them untangle in the afterglow-  
He laughs obnoxiously hard just to shake the thought.  
“Really you shouldn’t...I have a wayward heart”  
“I’m a very important man”  
“Oh?” Minatsuki giggles, covers his mouth drunkenly and hangs his arms around the man’s neck.  
“I could look after your heart”  
Minatsuki bites his lip to consider it.  
“Yeah? What makes you think you’re qualified to look after my heart” He lets his eyelids droop as he smiles gently.  
“I know some pretty big secrets”  
His eyes widen and he lets his mouth drop open. It’s moments like this where he’s blessedly pleased he’s blonde because the man is looking at him like he’s about as dangerous as a kitten.  
He chuffs and finishes the man’s drink, biting gently on the straw.  
“You cheeky bitch-” The man pulls it out his hands. “And, i’ll have you know, I got my hands on the nuclear codes-”  
Minatsuki laughs.  
“That’s cute” He turns away, feigns boredom at the blatant lie.  
“No I’m serious”  
He lets his smile become lopsided as he leans close.  
“Really?”  
The man beckons softly and Minatsuki lets him pull his hair round his ear gently and puff a soft and delicate, nervous and despertate to impress kiss up the inside of Minatsuki’s neck. He tilts his head back and lets, eyes heavy and brimming with lust as his hair tumbles down to small of his back and caches Laica’s eye.  
The soft of the muddy grey, like the sky on a stormy day or a rough sea. Sometimes he wishes his eyes looked like that, soft but harsh, choppy water you’d be sure to drown in but still somehow warmer than the ice blue of his own. 

Laica leaves. 

That proverbial coffin goes 6ft under. 

But he doesn’t miss the whisper of the numbers in his ear. He’s not an amateur. 

Kamui wraps him up a warm blanket of drinks and lust and Minatsuki indulges him. It feels good to know someone wants him, really wants him.  
Fucking Kamui should be easy but somehow it’s impossible. Somehow it’s not right or how it should be or how he imagined and Minatsuki realises, painfully, that it’s because Kamui cares. 

“Do you know how many of those guys would die to be where I am now?” 

And jesus christ can’t he spend one night with someone without them become dangerously obsessed with him. 

“Do you know half the effect you have on people?” 

Maybe it’s because he’s a bastard that he takes such delight in leaving Kamui shirtless with his pants at his ankles as he slides out the door with a practiced seduction that makes him happy for all of three seconds before he realises how blindingly lonely he is. 

It’s the drugs and the booze, the toxic combination of emotion and overwhelming substance abuse that leaves him clinging to the wall as his head spins.  
His whole body burns for Laica and he’s so angry at himself for falling this far.  
He’s so angry at Regulus for everything he’s done and as he buries his hands in his hair and slides to the floor, nose aching and running and eyes puffy as he drags in breathes against his desperate, childish sobs. 

He hopes Kamui hates him. 

He wants someone to at least openly admit they hate him. 

Just say it. 

That’s the mood he’s in when he realises Kamui is in his room and has his key card. That’s the mood he’s in when he bangs on Laica’s door. 

He wants a confrontation. He’s seething. 

And Laica answers in his boxers, eyes glazed with genuine sleep as he squints against the light.  
He blinks, dazed and dozy and frowns.  
“Minatsuki?”  
And then something snaps and he’s cupping Laica’s cheeks as he chokes on a sob and kisses him harder than he’s ever kissed anyone before. Deep and full of tongue and unspoken emotion as they hold onto each other for dear life. Laica trembles.  
“You-you” Laica is gasping, hands steadying as Minatsuki slumps forward. “Actually taste of cocaine...I didn’t think that was possible”  
A gentle slap to the cheek.  
“MInatsuki?”  
But he’s fucking gone because Laica feels so good, the drag of hot, sleep warmed skin and the slide of muscle against Minatsuki’s cheek from where he’s buried his head. The smell of Laica’s hair is more calming, more necessary and addictive than any one of the drugs Minatsuki poured down his throat or inhaled today.  
“Oh Laica” He tries but he’s a mess, cheeks wet with tears and eyes a vivid, vivid blue and he wonders if Laica will want this because this is the first time Minatsuki remembers not being able to calculated something at least half way towards seductive.  
“What happened? What happened?” Laica doesn’t mean tonight, he means in general and it kills Minatsuki.  
“I don’t- Regulus said- last night he-”  
Laica’s grip tightens. “What did he tell you?” It’s so perfectly possessive, like Laica would beat the shit out of him if it was something bad.  
But they’re both delusional to think they could stand up to him.  
It’s a fun thought.  
“Said you didn’t care- Oh god, Laica I’m such a child-”  
Laica’s forcing kisses into his hairline, hands dug into the blonde tressels as cradles his cheek and kisses his nose.  
“I know, Minatsuki”  
He laughs, barked out through his sobs and sniffs unattractively as he backs away.  
“Well, you didn’t need to agree-”  
Laica holds his shoulders, looks deep into his eyes and shakes him.  
“I know, Minatsuki”  
It takes a moment for the words to register and then, even then, they don’t quite make sense.  
“What?” He breathes.  
“Regulus told me” He sounds ill, choked up and shaky. “I’m so sorry-”  
“Shut up” Minatsuki just manages, Laica’s pity is stifling. “What? When did he...why…”  
“Last night, after you went out to meet Quinn. You were acting strange- you’ve been acting strange- and he...he didn’t say it... not outright-”  
He gets out of Laica’s grip and pulls his hair out his face.  
“Fuck..” he gasps, closing his eyes. “Fuck I didn’t need to know that Laica”  
“I needed to tell you” Laica says and looks down.  
“Oh my god…” He sits on the bed and looks up “You know I’m in love with you right? You know everything I do, I do for you-”  
“Don’t lie to me!” Laica shouts, yells and it makes Minatsuki flinch. “Not about that-”  
“I did that for you” Minatsuki waves helplessly, suddenly angry. “I fucked Gilbert for you because-” It’s so matter of fact, he just lets the words fall out his mouth as though he were explaining how to switch on an oven “Because he said you were weak and he wanted you out of Market Maker. He didn’t tell you that did he”  
There is a long pause.  
“And you actually believed him?”  
Minatsuki gawks.  
“Well excuse me. If I’d known you had such high opinions of yourself i wouldn’t have bothered-”  
“You’re an idiot” Laica sighs but the smallest smile pulls at his cheeks.  
Minatsuki watches.  
“I was very young and you were very clumsy”  
“I’m an asset” Laica says and sits beside him and reaches for his shirt.  
“Don’t” Minatsuki covers his hand.  
“Then take off yours” Laica mutters.  
“Why?” Minatsuki chuckles.  
“Because I feel like an idiot sat in my pants”  
“No you feel like an idiot because you called yourself an asset” Minatsuki leans back.  
Laica’s face colours with guilt suddenly, like his one bad joke has bulldozered through years of walls.  
He’s crying.  
Minatsuki blinks. He’s never seen Laica cry.  
It’s silent, soft and tragic.  
“I am though” He whispers, then adds. “I’m so sorry”  
Minatsuki smiles, weak and slightly nervous. “Don’t- don’t be...please, I-I overreacted...I’m jealous and petty, I hate things not going my way-”  
Laica lets out of cry of frustration.  
“Stop telling me what I want to hear”  
Minatsuki shakes his head, suddenly confused. “I-I’m not. I’m telling the truth Laica. What you want to hear is the truth” He laughs, worried for Laica because this all so rash and out of character.  
“ Off courses your truths are just what I want to hear" He bites his lip and snarls softly "I’ve lied to you about everything” Laica says. “You should hate me”  
“What are you talking about?  
“But you don’t even know enough to hate me”  
It’s bitter.  
“Laica, you’re scaring me-”  
“I wish I’d killed you back then”  
He’s barely talking to Minatsuki anymore.  
“Back when?”  
“How’d I let him do this to you…why did I do this to you”  
Minatsuki’s backhand draws their eyes together and Laica grabs his cheek.  
“I’m so in love with you and I don’t even know your name”  
Minatsuki pauses, hand in mid air and stares. 

Flickers of memories and an overload of emotions and Minatsuki rushes to the toilet before he’s violently sick. 

“You telling me all of this doesn’t help” 

He trembles by the bath, still coughing and wheezing. Laica stands in the doorway.  
“You’re doing this to feel less guilty” Minatsuki snarls. “Because I still don’t remember, now I just know I can’t remember. You telling me you stole my memories doesn’t give me them back-”  
“I know” laica mumbles.  
“I don’t want to know” Minatsuki snarls. “You didn’t give me the choice to forget and now you didn’t give me the choice to remember. You just- you just did it. You never think past yourself” He pauses and drags his hands through his hair. “I don’t want to know all this. I don’t want you off loading your guilt onto me because you can’t handle it anymore. It’s not that easy Laica, you don’t get of that easy”  
Laica flinches and wipes his eyes and looks, for the first time in a while, just as young as he actually is.  
“Whatever you did the first time do it again”  
Laica looks up.  
“You can’t be serious-”  
“I can” Minatsuki stands shakily. “You owe me this much. You owe me the power to decide to forget again. This burden isn’t something we share, Laica.” He’s shouting now and it’s so,so cathartic. “This is on you and don’t you fucking think you can share it with me. You fucked me up, deal with consequences”  
“Y-you coward. I’m giving you a way-”  
“No, Minatsuki” He smiles. “Your giving yourself a way out”  
Laica’s eyes widen and fill with tears and then, quietly, he asks “How much do you want to forget?”  
“You can appropriately judge that” Minatsuki sighs.  
Their eyes meet and then Laica’s curls into some misshapen beauty. Minatsuki trails the marks. Laica kisses his forehead.  
“That’s a pretty colour” He whispers.  
“It’s yours” Laica murmurs.  
Minatsuki laughs, soft and quiet.  
“So it is” 

The flash of blue is blinding. 

 

The very interesting thing about Minatsuki was that, unlike most, the most vivid impressions of the man were not his own. He lived his life through the impact he made on others and so talking about him- he himself- was impossible because he didn’t know much about himself. 

 

It's not what you thought  
When you first began it

So Quinn sits in the cafe and watches the rain make a mockery of the outside world against the window pane.  
Thinks of bright blonde hair and soft lips and a future of opportunity.

You got what you want  
Now you can hardly stand it, though

As Yuna lies under crisp white sheets and thinks of a promise as the rain patters against the hotel room window. She dwells on things she doesn’t know about and hopes maybe, he doing the same. 

By now you know  
It's not going to stop  
Till you wise up

Kamui picks up the pieces and prepares to start again, ignores the cologne on the sheets and the disappointment in his heart and focuses on the hatred that’s burning through him like wildfire. 

You're sure there's a cure  
And you have finally found it

Gilbert works till midnight and thinks of missed opportunities, of two boys in love. One blonde and desperate and the other not and unable to show his feelings.  
Sighs into his hands and takes a lighter to the picture of him and Keith. 

You think one drink  
Will shrink you till you're underground  
And living down

Izanami puts the jigsaw together and doesn’t show anyone. She cries into her palm and puts on a smile as she remembers the beginning and the end. 

Prepare a list for what you need  
Before you sign away the deed

And Laica cradles a body, head buried in the warmth of his shirt as he waits, as he always does, for him to come to.  
Knowing it won’t remember any of it but reassuring himself that it will do its job perfectly.  
Knowing in a few days they’ll be back here. 

Cause it's not going to stop  
Till you wise up

 

And so, to tell his life story would be impossible to do because, himself, didn’t know it.

**Author's Note:**

> I found this song by an artist I love called bigger paper bag and it massively, massively inspired this whole series so you should give it a listen. 
> 
> Thanks again!


End file.
